IAM

I write in spite the destined death these lines

should suffer in my head

when time gives flight and nights slip by my mind

these little verses I forget.

I strive to sow inside some signs to show

this poem delights the eyes

and ears, but why contrive to greatness, oh,

when all’s forgotten as years go by.

So life doth lie and push to us some purpose

we, paralyzed with pride,

amidst our tears and cries won’t recognize as worthless.

Well why do I write? It’s philosophical suicide!

I write in spite my destined death,

Meaning expressed in every breath.

Brief Statement

For this creative project I chose to write a sonnet taking elements from Edna St. Vincent Millay’s style and themes. St. Vincent Millay plays with rhythm and rhyme in her poetry, while keeping a degree of flexibility, for example, in syllable count. I try to create that same juxtaposition between a traditional and perhaps rigid style and its modern setting. I also adopted St. Vincent Millay’s use of non-English titles (in Passer Mortuus Est, etc.). In theme, I follow St. Vincent Millay’s contemplations on life. The first few poems we read in class, like First Fig and Second Fig, all offer insights into how she considers life and existence. My poem is very existential in nature, but I aim to refute the existentialist notion of life as a meaningless struggle we are fighting in. I explore the existential angst in three stanzas of continual questioning, first with a whimsical observation that the poem I write (ie. the works that humans devote their lives to) will one day fade from my mind. I then point out that this fact is true no matter how great a poem I write, and conclude that no purpose we commit to has any value in the grand-scheme of the eternal and expanding universe, no matter how much illusionary pride we feel in the moment. The concept of philosophical suicide is developed by Albert Camus as the act of refusing to admit life’s meaninglessness and instead quenching the human desire for existential purpose with empty beliefs, values, and goals. I do not dispute the lack of a grand purpose for we individuals, but argue that the experiences of living, of being itself, provides all the meaning we need. In that, I title the poem I AM, to reflect this piece as a thesis of my existence. I combined the two words as the Latin word IAM means now in english, enforcing my embracement of existence in the moment. (I am writing in iambs too, so I thought that was pretty funny wordplay). Of course, as a poem is not a paper, I chose not to expand my argument with the last stanza but instead adopt the sonnet form and let the abrupt couplet speak for themselves, with a capitalized M in Meaning to show that it refers not to a synonym for purpose but to a separate concept. I kept a strict rhyme scheme but plays with it through internal (eg. I, write, spite, flight, night, slip, by… in the first stanza) and multisyllabic rhymes (eg. the repetition of vowels in eyes and ears, years go by, tears and cries) in addition to alliteration (eg. strive to sow inside some signs to show in the second stanza), anaphora (eg. the repetition of I write and I strive), as well as some Latin figures of speech including hendiadys, symbolic enthesis, chiasmus, enjambment, and climax. The idea was initially to write a short witty poem playing with Latin through the English language, but naturally developed into something more serious.